Today I will mostly be ranting about people who retweet their compliments. All the time. The odd one here and there is ok, sometimes you are genuinely surprised by something nice someone has said about you or your writing. But the constant retweets are the online equivalent of you sitting next to me in the pub telling me how great everyone says you are. Me unfollowing you is the equivalent of me poking you in the eye and leaving.
Nobody behaves like that in real life. Just because you’re sat there behind your computer screen, all alone, without anybody being able to actually see you, or hold you to account for your actions, doesn’t mean that you can behave like that. It’s really easy to forget that everyone can see what you’re doing online. In your head you are the most important person in the world but out there, on social media, you’re just a prat and retweeting your every @ is like taking a big highlighter pen and scribbling ‘needy’ across your forehead.
Also, we‘re already following you so chances are we think you’re pretty ok. We find you interesting and entertaining and amusing and it is a pleasure interacting with you. We know you’re nice, it’s why we follow you, we don’t need reminding. But nothing makes us like you less than you telling us how great you are. You need to let us find out for ourselves, we’re not going to like you because someone else has said something nice, it doesn’t work like that and makes you look desperate.
I feel the same way about people who put a full stop before every @ to someone, so that everyone can see how clever and funny they are. They’re really not. And the people who retweet their #ff mentions? They need poking in both eyes. Repeatedly. Then block them.
Apart from those people, the rest of you are lovely and it’s a pleasure socially media-ing with you. But retweet that and I’ll break your legs.