2013 hasn’t been the best year, too many people I love have had a horrible time and at midnight tonight I’ll be thinking about the people who aren’t here any more. But I’ll also be feeling really grateful for the ones who still are. In the middle of all the bad stuff there’s been some really good stuff too and I can’t write off a year that’s made me new friends and brought me closer to old ones. And I’m ending the year happy and healthy in a lovely warm house with a lovely warm husband, with two happy, healthy children, so I can’t complain.
But here are a few things that I have learnt this year:
There is such a thing as a penis beaker. Really, if you are capable of even thinking up the idea of a penis beaker after sex, you’re not doing it right.
Twerking is a verb. I have nothing to say, except stop it, now.
It is actually possible to finish the year hating onesies and cupcakes more than I did at the start. Particularly onesies with cupcakes on them.
I can write more than short stories. This year I’ve started the two novels that have been going round in my head forever. Whether they’ll ever be finished or not is a different matter, but I’ll worry about that later.
I like blogging. And this year I’ve had more non-fiction published than fiction so I feel like I’ve finally found my voice, even though it seems to be the voice of a slightly bad tempered old woman with grammar issues and a potty mouth.
I am happy to admit I am a feminist. I learnt that contrary to popular belief, this does not have to involve looking at your vagina in a mirror, unless of course that is your thing, in which case go ahead. Freak.
I’m getting more ranty as I get older. This is slightly related to the above. Imagine my daughters delight when I ranted all the way home from watching the Smurfs 2 movie, complaining about how it played into damaging female stereotypes. I also talk at the television and write letters to the newspaper. Deal with it.
Most people do actually get my sarcastic sense of humour. But the ones that don’t, really don’t, which led to my very first troll this year. I feel like I’ve finally made it.
When things are going really badly, there will always be something to laugh about. My family have really been through it this year and we’re finishing the year feeling exhausted, every one of us. But in the middle of it all we’ve laughed. You have not known funny until you have stood fully clothed in a shower with your big sister, believe me.
Life is very, very fragile. This is the main thing I’ve learnt and at the risk of sounding like one of those annoying motivational quote people on Twitter, you need to learn it too. So,
Make that call.
Send that email.
Tell that person you love them, even if you see them every day and you’ve told them before and they should know it anyway.
Don’t keep that dress for a special occasion, today is that special occasion.
Wear hats if you want to.
Wear more leopard print if you want to. (This should be law)
Be nice to people because you want to be, not because you want people to think you’re nice.
Start writing that novel and clear some space in your head. Who cares if it’s shit, it’s your shit.
Don’t stay together for the children. You’re their blueprint for relationships, they deserve better.
Remember that fairy lights are not just for Christmas, keep them out all year.
Say no more often.
Say yes more often.
Tell your children how amazing they are, and let them see how amazing you think you are too.
And never, ever, accept a drink in a plastic cup from someone who looks like they might be a penis beaker type of person.
Happy New Year, everyone, thank you.